Clare County Review & Marion Press Columns

Pat’s Bits and Pieces: I’m not absent minded – it’s gremlins

It has been that kind of month.
You know what I mean. The kind where you lose something and then find it right in front of you…
I just spent about a half-hour looking for my phone, but then that happens nearly every day. Forgot to take it with me to the Dr.’s office today. Luckily everything in my file was the same as last time, because I went in with my purse, but left my wallet in the car – and I was late..
By the time I finished there and went across to the hospital for a test (I went back to the car for my wallet), the ladies at the hospital had been notified that I forgot my wallet, so I pulled it out and said “Voila’.”
Once I spent half a day looking for my memory sticks (where I store everything I have written since 20010), Just when I had decided I would have to start over again and had lost all of my stuff (all those years of stories, features and columns), I looked to my right and there they were, right on top of the computer hard drive – and in plain sight!
I really believe in gremlins because I can’t possibly be that absent-minded – or blind, can I?.
For example – my keys – it used to be that unless I tie them to my wrist, they disappeared on almost a daily basis. Once I found them in the refrigerator! I’m pretty sure someone…or something green had to put them there.
We have pretty much solved that problem of losing the keys. We have a place by the door for keys – if you bring them in, you’re supposed to hang them up, or, for my benefit, just lately I could leave them right in the car when it was locked in the garage.
Can’t do that anymore because I started out the new year by smacking a deer right off the road. Needless to say, my little car that only had barely 100,000 miles and was only 13 ½ years old is no longer around. Too old to fix, I guess. Jack is now calling me “the deerslayer.”
So, we are back to being a one-vehicle family, the first time that has happened since 1972…
Murphy’s Law for the Maurer’s. If something can go wrong…you can bet it will.
It’s not just 2023 either.
A few years ago, as I was leaving a township meeting, I backed into the cement “bumper” around a light pole, one that I actually had to drive around when I was pulling into the parking place.
Now that I know where to look for my keys, and since I am working strictly from home now, I just keep the memory sticks (jump drives) in their place – plugged in on the side of my laptop. I was known to leave them at the office on Thursday quite often, or put them down in a different place every time when I come home with them…
Once, I even walked out of the grocery and actually left my purse in the basket. I have no idea what I was thinking about, but I only made it about 20 feet before I missed it and narrowly averted a real disaster.
If you’ve ever lost a wallet, you know what I mean. Replacing all the stuff you keep in there can take months. I know because I had mine stolen once when I was in college. Losing the money was the least important thing that happened. Replacing every important piece of paper in there was a nightmare. These days it would be even worse because you have to factor in four or five credit cards.
Being absent minded seems to be one of my worst faults. This type of thing always seems to happen when I am the busiest, and this month so far has been really busy. It doesn’t help that I have every annual test scheduled in the same five weeks.
I would say it is old age, but I’ve pretty much been this way my whole life.
I will just keep believing all the confusion is caused by gremlins. After all, It is easier to blame it all on those little green guys who hide out and cause as much mischief as possible especially when you just don’t have the time to deal with it.

Leave a Reply