Many of us are making plans for Thanksgiving Day Nov. 28 this year. We might be traveling or others traveling to see us. Maybe the great feast will be at home or somewhere else. Turkey and all the trimmings could be on the top of the chart this year.
Then again, the high point could be the department store Christmas parades in the morning, football or a nighttime sortie to a big box store for the opening kick-off of Black Friday.
Whatever your agenda, it remains Thanksgiving Day. What you make of it is up to you.
Since the elections some people are celebrating, others not. I spoke with one woman who is worried her family’s get-together between partisan members will end with Parker House rolls being slung and the green bean hot dish catapulted across the table.
Others were so despondent they were ready to forego Thanksgiving. One even suggested their family might hang a black wreath for the front door and not turn on the Christmas lights.
Before we get too mired in the slough of despond, let’s open the brain cells to alternate ideas. History is a good starter. We begin with Abe Lincoln observing most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
There is nothing we can do about the past election, world economy or even our dearest and nearest, but you are in the driver’s seat when it comes how you respond or react. Want to be miserable? Up to you. Want to be happy? Ditto.
I find wisdom in the words of the Dowager (Maggie Smith) Countess of Downton Abbey. Once she snapped at her son, “Why must you be so nice to everyone? We all have friends we dislike!”
Another time, when one of her granddaughters was reeking with self-pity and about to give up, she advised the youth, “Really, defeatism is SO middle class.”
I recently read a biography of Lady Glenconner, who was a close friend of the late Queen Elizabeth and Lady-in-Waiting to Princess Margaret. Not bad work if you can get it, right?
But she too faced challenges. Her father did not believe in spending money for girls to be educated, so she was taught to read, write and was on her own after that.
We can envy her family’s castle, but it came without central heading or indoor plumbing. At age 18 she married a wealthy man who was a horrible abuser. He finally died, but so did hers beloved sons.
In her late 80s, Lady Glenconner found she was broke and had so few life skills she didn’t even know how to boil an egg. But what got her through 90+ years was the philosophy, “Mustn’t complain and always keep a stiff upper lip.”
Put that in your pipe and smoke it. I have and liked its aroma. But to be more practical, here are Stoppel’s Simple Solutions for Sticky Situations.” You can thank me later.
First, quit following the political news and opinions through at least the end of Thanksgiving Day. Get it out of your system because there’s nothing you can do about it.
The nation has a huge army of writers, talking heads and social influencers grubbing for money who know good news doesn’t sell. Worrisome, bad and threatening news are what brings in bucks. Tell them to shove off and take a holiday away from them.
Second, if someone wants to start debating the election or unknown future, just smile and pretend you can’t hear them. This should be easy for us old codgers used to selective heating. Put it to good use for your mental health.
If they persist, tell them, “Another time, but not now” as you walk away.
If that doesn’t work, plaster a stricken look on your face and whisper, “Sorry, gas” as you look for the little room down the hall. Trust me, they’ll vanish fast.
Third, remember there has never been a perfect year or day for Thanksgiving. In 1621, the Pilgrims had lived through a horrible winter. Half of them had died, the others were perpetually sick and hungry.
By then they’d been eating lobster, the main course for their Thanksgiving, for months on end and were tired of it. Plus, a two-hour sermon in the morning.
It’s no different today, except we’ll be eating leftover turkey from now until Christmas.
In the late 1700s, General Washington proclaimed a day of thanksgiving when the country was in deep trouble. Instead of blaming the Red Coats for it, he said people should be thankful for the blessings they received.
Lincoln did the same in 1863 after the worst year of the Civil War. FDR did it in 1936, during the Great Depression and while European dictators planned how to feast on the rest of the world.
This year is no different. Look for the good stuff — and that includes the stuffing.
Fourth, if you have guests coming to your house, lay down the law in advance: “No politics.” When they come to the door, remind them the first person who starts anything will be doing all of the cleanup work and washing on their own.
If someone gets out of line, smile and ask if they really enjoy doing dishes. That should stifle them.
Fifth, remember the fable about the psychologist who handed two boys each a shovel and pointed them at a stable full of barnyard organic fertilizer.
The first kid looked at it, pouted and refused to do anything other than more pouting. The other boy looked at his stall and eagerly went to work. “Stuff” was flying in all directions.
When the psychologist asked why he was so happy, the lad answered, “Listen mister, with all this manure, there must be a pony in here!”
No matter what the “stuff” happening, count your blessings and focus on the pony. It may be slow and challenging at first, but once you get into the pattern, you will find more good things and reasons to be grateful than you can imagine.
Have a happy Thanksgiving Day.
