Sixty years ago a classmate said something insulting and demeaning. It left me with a choice: I could either turn his nose to 12 or tattle to the teacher. I chose the latter and right after school he turned my nose to 12 as a reminder that snitches get stitches.
I have long wondered why some people make insulting remarks to others. Most seem to have low self-esteem, then try to cover it up by putting down someone else. It is a smokescreen much like the Wizard of Oz used to hide that he was a mortal behind a curtain.
Once I understood that, I started to pity them. It is sad they choose to live this way when they could be much happier. Given the chance, they drag others down with them.
I found myself happier after cutting them out of my life. We can refuse to walk on eggshells around them or listen comfortably to their vitriol, even when it is cloaked in an attempt at humor.
A good example is the late British actress Maggie Smith, whose writers created the screen persona of a sharp-tongued character. On the show “Downton Abbey” she insulted everyone around her, including her own family.
In real life Smith was a very different person, just as the character Jack Benny as a perpetual cheapskate was different from Jack Benny who was generous in real life.
A few years ago a move was afoot to silence anyone who said anything with which some group disagreed. They were boycotted because they did not make those other parties “feel safe.”
It is dangerous trying to “cancel” opposing voices. It is another form of coercion, bullying and oppression. One recent example came with the Israeli war against Hamas in Gaza. On some college campuses, anyone who dared to say anything positive about Israel, much less support them, was risking their reputation, livelihood and life.
Politics has always been a firestorm of insults. Periodically an elected or appointed official gets “mustard up their nose,” as the French call it, and demands that opponents not be allowed to say something irritating.
It often comes down to the limits of free speech. It apparently is all right for one person to bully and insult others, then cry “foul” if someone returns the favor. It is a matter of “I can say whatever I like and insult whomever I choose, but don’t you dare try it.”
In 2019 England Parliament member Ann Widdecombe was asked to speak at the Oxford University Union on the topic of free speech. She said:
“Nobody has the right to live their lives being protected from offense, insults or hurt feelings. It is an occasional hazard of living in society. If you really can’t take it, become a hermit.”
Bishop Mariann Budde has been criticized for her sermon in the National Cathedral at the National Prayer Service. Like thousands of clergy before her, she urged showing mercy to those on the fringes of society.
There are nearly 100 references to mercy in the Old Testament, and many more in the Gospels and Epistles. This message of mercy has been a theme used by countless clergy in countless churches over the centuries.
Apparently, it was not well received by some people in the front rows. Instead of saying nothing, or at least nothing publicly, they replied with insults. One U.S. Congressman suggested the bishop’s name go on the deportation list.
This might be the thin edge of a wedge that leads to censorship of what we can say without being reported or even punished. It could, as in the days of New England’s Puritan theocracy, lead to censorship of the pulpit.
One important role of religion is speaking truth to power. Faith leaders have courageously done that for centuries. It has always been the responsibility of the clergy to point out to even powerful people they are still accountable to God.
Even when truth is spoken in gentleness and love, it is risky because those in power don’t like to be challenged.
We must remain vigilant.
