Recently I was talking with a lady who had been caring for her handicapped child for many years. While she obviously loves her daughter, she has begun showing symptoms of anxiety and depression. She is finding herself not sleeping well, becoming forgetful, on edge, and at times panicky. While she loves to cook, mow grass, sew, work flowerbeds, shop, and visit with friends, she finds even these things don’t bring her much pleasure. She is finding it harder to pray. She sometimes says to her daughter things that she later regrets and then apologizes for.
Most of us have experienced burnout at some time in our lives. It is usually associated with being overworked, financial worries, relationship issues, and being overwhelmed by having too much to do and so little time to do it. It is compounded by illness, not getting enough sleep, drug abuse, along with a sense of isolation, and feeling misunderstood and unloved. Life gets out of control.
Caregiver burnout may result when we become overwhelmed caring for a loved one. People don’t like talking about it because they love their loved ones and want to give them their very best, even if it hurts. How many times have we heard of someone having a heart attack, over doing it to the point of illness, before they realize their limitations? People with caregiver burnout often hear people tell them to slow down, but how can you when all you really want to do is love the person you are caring for?
I think all of us know when someone is suffering from caregiver burnout, but how can we help? Sometimes we don’t even recognize it in others. One person shared with me that they just need someplace where they could vent their feelings. Another person said that they just need someone to listen and understand. Others said that they didn’t like how they became short tempered and tired and nasty.
In any case, it is a good thing to remain connected to others for support. Just noticing when someone is hurting and asking how they are doing, not just the person they are caring for, is wonderful. Caring for others can become overwhelming and very stressful. Let us not only pray and be concerned about the person being cared for, but also the caregiver who is so often overlooked. They need us too!
“May the Lord bless and keep you. May he let his face shine upon you, be gracious to you and give you his peace.”
