In the ten years between 2000 and 2010 the Diocese of Saginaw lost about a third of its mass goers. Also, during this time many Catholic Schools were permanently closed. Sacred Heart in Gladwin, St, Athanasius in Harrison, St. Cecilia in Clare and St. Henry in Rosebush, St. Vincent De Paul in Shepherd all closed. What a tremendous loss! Also, Bishop Untener died, replaced by Bishop Carlson, replaced by Bishop Cistone who died and now we have Bishop Gruss. That is a lot of change. We also endured the Realignment of Parishes in which about half of the parishes in the diocese no longer exist. This was precipitated in part by the loss of priest, financial struggles and loss of laity. Then came the COVID-19 pandemic when most churches were closed for a time. Many of our loved ones died and most local churches have not fully recovered.
Just last Saturday I attended a diocesan wide men’s conference at Holy Spirit Church and had the opportunity to go to confession. My goal was not just to be forgiven for holding a lot of resentment about all of these losses, but to be healed of my anger toward those I perceive of having perpetrated these losses. I blamed the Church for closing schools, and churches during the pandemic. I blamed the priest sexual abuse scandal for the loss of mass goers and financial difficulty. I blamed the Bishop for closing parishes. I also blamed the priests for sometimes preaching modernism and not the orthodox teachings of the Church. In tears I asked to be forgiven and healed of my anger and resentment, and it is happening. I trusted in the Church and it seemed she let me down. Maybe the Church needs to repent? She’s lost a lot of credibility.
The injury and hurt in me runs deep, yet through the power of grace I am being healed. I am reminded of Peter’s response to Jesus when he asked his apostles if they too wanted to leave after Jesus told them about eating his flesh and drinking his blood and as a result most people left him. Peter replied where else can we go. Jesus is the Messiah. He has the words of eternal life. Even though Peter stayed, later he denied Jesus, only later to become one of the leaders of the Church. He struggled, like most of us, but where else can we go?
Even though I do not understand all that has happened, I still believe that the Holy Spirit is at work in the Church, however imperfect that she is, and that she is my spiritual home. The Church holds the words and sacraments of eternal life. I have no desire to go anywhere else.
“May the Lord bless and keep you. May he let his face shine upon you, be gracious to you and give you his peace.”
