In a conversation I had with a fellow teacher years ago, she lamented that all the good men had been taken. She was a single mom, with a young son, who was doing her best to hold down a teaching job, run a household, provide all the transportation, and raise a child. She was exhausted. I have been wondering how men in this country had gotten the reputation as being immoral, irresponsible, ignorant, laughable, and selfish.
Some people blame it on the sitcoms of the last forty years in which men are depicted as unfaithful, womanizers, alcoholics, losers, and made fun of. Others blame it on the women’s lib movement in which the man is no longer needed to provide, protect, and defend the family. How many commercials have we seen on TV that showed women with their kids and no man? I also lament that many couples live together without any real commitment. Too many people seem unwilling to work on a relationship and that when the going gets tough, they just leave.
Yet others blame the government on being too willing to provide for single parent families. Some people feel more secure letting the government provide food, medical care, housing, transportation, and childcare, thus making the need for a man less necessary. Perhaps many men just feel unnecessary or even a burden to families. I’m not needed! They are better off without me. Who knows?
When I think of men, I think of my dad. Here was a dad, along with my mom, who was married at the beginning of the Great Depression. Raised nine children without the assistance of Medicare, low-income housing, cash assistance, and food assistance. We worked together raising most of our food on a small farm. We did not have much, but it was enough. We toughed it out. Even though neither had a high school education, most of their children had professional degrees. One thing I am very grateful for was my Catholic upbringing which has been wonderful my whole life. If only I could be the man he was.
Where are the men? Why do we need them? What is the role of men in the family and society? These are questions many of us are asking today. Hopefully we can discover what it means to be a man again.
“May the Lord bless and keep you. May he let his face shine upon you, be gracious to you and give you his peace.”
