By Scott Sullivan
Editor
Journalism Redeemed
“The mind is a terrible thing to lose,” said Dan Quayle as vice president. Preach it!
Page B1 of last week’s Commercial Record said the Jim Cooper Quintet’s “Mallets in Wonderland” jazz concert would be Saturday, March 25, when in fact it will to be Sunday, March 25 at 7:30 p.m. in the Saugatuck Woman’s Club.
Tickets — at $20 for general admission, $5 for students with ID — are available online at fswc.ludus.com and will also be at the door.
I doubled down on the B-1 story below it with a headline saying the Lakeshore Community Chorus’s “Bosom Buddies of Broadway” spring concerts will spread joy at the Woman’s Club when in fact they will do so Saturday, May 31 at 4 p.m. and Sunday June 1 at 2 p.m. in First Congregational Church of Saugatuck. That’s just up the Hoffman Street hill from the Woman’s Club, on the corner of Griffith Street.
Tickets — at $20 for adults and $10 for students, plus $5 to share Buddygram program shutouts to your friend(s) — are available through https://lakeshorecommunitychorus.ludus.com.
Live music lives in many forums and forms on the Art Coast, ranging from:
- Chamber Music Festival of Saugatuck paired summer concerts Thursdays and Fridays in the Woman’s Club during July and August;
- Free weekly Music in the Park concerts Wednesdays starting June 18 in Wicks Park;
- Performers on pub decks and at festivals;
- Birdsongs, to
- Waves on Lake Michigan.
Journalism, the horse at least, redeemed himself winning Saturday’s Preakness at Pimlico after falling to Sovereignty in the Kentucky Derby two weeks prior.
The two are expected to go head-to-head for the Triple Crown’s final jewel in the Belmont Stakes June 7 at Saratoga.
Speaking of journalism’s sovereignty, “DNR halts plans to send geese to gas chamber” read a semi-accurate headline elsewhere last week.
“Semi” because the Michigan Department of Natural Resources’ proposed resolution to “human-geese conflicts” isn’t dead yet. It’s only sleeping.
Seems the agency had proposed dispatching U.S. Wildlife Service crews armed with portable carbon dioxide gas chambers to round up, then asphyxiate honkers in them. For good reason.
Those cute fuzzy goslings we see in spring are already turning into hissing, aggressive Canada geese whose plentiful poop makes shorelines unsightly and spreads E.coli in water bodies. Geese can pass along bird flu too.
The state paused the program May 9 after flocks of animal rights activists complained such treatment was inhumane. All they are saying is give geese a chance. But already the ball is rolling.
Capital punishment alternatives don’t add up. Deport geese to Canada, they fly back. Eggs hatched in the U.S. create birthright citizens. No, the only way is give geese the gas.
Next we’ll subjecting deer to bow-and-arrow firing squads, electrocuting Asian carp, hanging chads, anything we can.
Black bears are spreading into lower Michigan. We’ve had cougar sightings (none confirmed yet) near here. A barnacle goose, likely from Greenland or northeast Russia, migrated this way in March.
Unable to take it, I headed to the Pullman Tavern. “Zeke,” I confessed to the bartender, “I have sinned.
“Tell the Pope that,” Zeke said. “He went to high school here.”
In walked Dan Quayle.
“Dan,” I said, “your grandfather Eugene Pulliam owned 12 newspapers including the Indianapolis Star, which I delivered in my teens as a paperboy. Tell me journalism still has a chance.”
“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future,” J. Danforth said.
“Huh?” Zeke asked.
“The Holocaust,” Quayle went on, “was was an obscene period in our nation’s history … No, not our nation’s, but in World War Il. I mean, we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century, but in this century’s history.”
“How do you spell ‘potato?’” Zeke asked.
“Potatoe. Bring me some chips with my Blatz,” Quayle said.
