Recently I was asked by a patient about how I manage to listen to so much negativity? After all, people who are not depressed, anxious, don’t have substance abuse issues, legal issues, or relationship issues do not usually seek counseling. My response was quick and simple, but not simplistic.
My first strategy is to remind myself that the patient in front of me is God’s child, regardless of having religious affiliation or not. I believe the patient is first of all a person. I think of them as created by God, that at the deepest level they are unique, loveable, holy, and good. They are first of all a person, a person who happens to have issues. Their issues are not who they are. When we talk we are on holy ground.
The second strategy is that I have cultivated a positive world view; a gift given by God. I encourage my patients to do the same. As such, I try to see the bigger, more complete picture. For example, when it is said that the unemployment rate is 5%, I think of the 95% of the people who want jobs, have them! Another example is milk. Whole milk is about 5% fat. That means that is 95% fat free! Even people who experience depression or anxiety or pain do not experience it 100% of the time. Part of treatment is to help people focus on the times when they are not. It is important to cultivate focusing on when things are good. Which is most of the time.
We Christians can sometimes forget that ultimately God is in charge. I remember a patient who was very sad and anxious as she told me her story. After I listened about twenty minutes, I began singing, “He’s got the whole world in his hands.” In a few minutes she began to smile and said simply, “I forgot!” In a few minutes this Christian who had been tearful, anxious, and upset began to have joy.
Just reframing an issue does not resolve or change it. The problem is still there. Yet, by seeing the issue from a more positive, realistic and holistic perspective, reduces the helplessness and hopelessness and allows us to move forward, developing appropriate treatment plans that will address the difficult issue. Difficulties don’t seem so overwhelming and can be addressed in a more rational, realistic and do-able way. Cultivating a positive outlook helps us progress in a healthy way, even just to get started. How do I do it? Seeing things from God’s perspective.
“May the Lord bless and keep you. May he let his face shine upon you, be gracious to you and give you his peace.”
