Why is it that we seem to worry more in the middle of the night? The common accepted thought is that the more rational part of our brain sleeps while the irrational part keeps on. It’s at those times that we worry more than usual about finances, relationships, our spouses, children, our past sins, future plans, sickness and even death. Thank God for mornings.
Recently, I woke at three in the morning, wide awake. A good friend once told me that when you wake up like that in the middle of the night that God might be calling you to prayer. That sounded good to me so now on a regular basis I get up and pray. This time I was irrationally worried about the political situation in our country, the vocations problems in our churches, and finances. As I was praying a thought occurred to me, “Daniel, it is not about you and your problems. It’s about me!”
Continuing along that line of thinking, I surmised that it is not about political, Church, finances, or my personal stuff. What it is all about is Jesus, his message, and the furthering of his kingdom here on earth. People came to mind like Noah, Moses, David, Mary, Joseph who were immersed in their personal lives in this world when God called them to leave it all behind to follow him. What about when Jesus called Peter and Andrew, James and John and the other Apostles? They left it all behind to follow him. Saul was on his way to Damascus when he was called. “Daniel, it is not about you and what you want. It is about me, and the plans I have!”
I must admit and accept that I do not understand God’s plan and my role in it. It is above my pay grade. I am not in charge. I do know that I am called to live by his teaching, which is the teaching of the Apostles, and eventually live in union with him. In the meantime, I pray like Sister Faustina, “Jesus, I trust in you.”
“Ok, Jesus. You are in charge. My worries are nothing in the great scheme of things. It’s not about me, but you.” I went back to bed and restfully slept.
“May the Lord bless and keep you. May he let his face shine upon you, be gracious to you, and give you his peace.”
