Columns Saugatuck/Douglas Commercial Record

Blue Star

By Scott Sullivan
Risk Reduction
I haven’t written this story yet but may soon. It’s about the Saugatuck Township gun range.
The gun range is in the township, not owned by it. But it may need one in self-defense. With prime land — Pine Trail Camp, unused by New Life Church of Chicago since Covid — available within mortar range, township hall occupants are bidding on it proactively.
City peers recall what’s ensued since the Presbyterian Camps sold to the high private bidder: a fusillade of lawsuits forever ongoing..
The township met a similar fate when it tried to thwart billionaire Aubrey McClendon buying and developing the “Wild Heart of Saugatuck,” aka the ex-Denison land.
After the Oklahoma City Thunder owner hit a wall without braking, Jeff and Peg Padnos bought and made plans for the north and no lawyer’s starved since.
Pine Trail sits on land possibly hunted by Potawatomi. Since archery ranges are camp staples, if not special uses, why not firearms? Possible, plausible, probable …
Without the Mt. Baldhead radardome, which once scanned skies for Russian bombers, now presumably unplugged — please, no more surprises — what early warning would the township have? A new Pine Trail owner, vexed by variance turn-downs, might fire warheads with impunity.
What if misguided missiles struck homes and shops near the hall? Like the new Pita Pier trailer parked where Outlaw Roasted Corn’s used to be? Or Lulu Cadieaux? The loss of lives could be catastrophic.
Putins put in by voters must arm in themselves in defense against slings and arrows fired by outraged patriots or, better, launch peremptory strikes,just like nations do.
Then there’s the ski lake next to Pine Trail Camp no one skis on. Nuclear submarines could serve as a submarine base. Not for use necessarily just so township zoning heads they’re there.
Mutually-assured mass destruction can be savior for the city too. Talks with AT&T to turn juice back on in the radardome have stalled to where anything might happen. Never make a telecommunications titan mad.
Better to nip these threats in the bud, as Douglas did snatching up the old Haworth plant, R.J.’s hospital and Point Pleasant Marina within its boundaries.
So what if the The City of the Village — prioritizing too-long-neglected infrastructure — can’t afford to do much with these add-ons? Better that than let them fall into unknown hands..
Anything can happen. You might not want to write fiction lest it turn fact, then BOOM!
What We’re Here For
Screw substantive issues; let’a have a catfight! U.S. Reps. Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) and Marjorie Taylor-Greene (R-Georgia) waged one last week at a House Oversight Committee hearing.
MTG was among GOPs griping about Dem. Attorney General Merrick Garland not sharing private Biden tapes with them, even pressing contempt charges, when she went on rant against Judge Juan Merchan’s daughter.
“Do you know what we’re here for?” Crockett interrupted.
“I don’t think you know what you’re here for,” Green fired back. “I think your fake eyelashes are messing up what you’re reading.” Is that a peremptory defense or what?
When the chair wouldn’t strike MGT’s critique from the record, Crockett asked whether saying someone has a “beach blonde bad-built butch body” can be placed there too.
Greene has a bigger name now than Crockett, so why not grab her coattails? The Texan doubled down launching a Crockett Clapback Collection of swag inscribed with her 6B’s outburst, adding proceeds “will go to ensuring that we have a Democratic House”– her re-election campaign not exempt.
The woman whose name sounds like Jiminy Cricket then tripled down, posting a video of herself working out while boasting “Yes, my body is built and strong, NOT with nips, tucks, plastic or silicone but through a healthy lifestyle.”
Greene replied on Fox News — known for its own brand of bottle- blonde Botticellis — decrying body shaming. “No matter what shape, size or how we look,” she said, “we need to be ourselves — not telling women the only way to be attractive or accepted is to have fake boobs, fake hair, fake lashes and injected faces.”
It might not hurt though, politically.What if being myself is telling women that? In other injected farces, an ex-beauty pageant judge known for lining up Botoxed bimbos at his beckon bedside, saw porn actress Stormy Daniels testify that … eww.
Polls show for all the Jiminy Cricket tsk-tsking done by Dems, most voters prefer entertainment and bombast to Biden moral chirping boredom.
The best defense is to be offensive. Local governments have no choice than to do so too.

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