The recent decision by Allegan County Commissioners to change home delivered meal providers for The Olds caught my attention.
My first thought came from a line from the film “The Godfather” when one of the mobsters ordered a hit on a rival. “It’s business; it’s nothing personal.”
No, I’m not comparing the commissioners to gangsters, or anything like it. It’s a line that frequently comes to mind whenever there is any sort of change. As a card-carrying member of The Olds, I have the right to do that. It means we all must make painful decisions based on economics or good business sense, even when people still get hurt.
A friend from Pier Cove area delivered Meals on Wheels for years. He liked the job, quickly learning the best part came from connections he made at each stop. Friendship formed. He looked forward to seeing people on his route looking forward his knock at the door.
When we turn off the electronic noise and prattle, the most important part of our lives will always be these connections with people.
They come in all sizes, from the big ones like family members and maybe a couple from our pasts, to very short interactions, like someone saying hello or giving a compliment as we pass them on the street. They send the message, “I see you.” Good short-term connections hang in our minds for years, yielding smiles as dividends.
My father taught my sister and me that we were to be polite and remember to speak to people. Some nights overdinner he didn’t ask what we learned in school, but who we spoke to today.
I remember mentioning names like my teacher, our principal, classmates and so on. More than once he would ask, “Didn’t see the janitor today? What about the ladies running the lunchroom?” The message was clear: they were just as important as the principal.
“Times are different now” is true if you still think time is solely a linear progression. Human connections are just as important now.
Remember fax machines? Back then they seemed magical. After making interesting electronic noises, which we called their “mating calls,” we could send printed messages across phone lines to anywhere in the world. We could stay in touch without having to see each other; an introvert’s dream. It was efficient for business, but soon became too efficient.
A United Airlines TV commercial showed a sales manager teillng his team about how they had lost a valuable client because no one flew cross country see him. With that, he handed out airline tickets for staff to visit their clients in person. “I’m going to see that fellow we lost, he went on.
It wasn’t just the fax machine, internet, lately AI. For the past 25 we’ve seen further isolation and separation. We became worried about strangers, with the mantra, “Stranger Danger!” we think at once when we meet them.
Airline travel became abysmal long before the security checks. The Covid epidemic boxed us off and in. At least the last three national elections made us cut ties as well.
Political parties became a litmus test as to who was allowed in homes and even churches. All those roads lead to loneliness, root cause of most terminal illness. Lonely people self-sabotage until they’re destructive.
Many governments and institutions find it in their best interests for us to stay isolated. When coffee was introduced to Europe, tipplers switched from their morning pint of beer to hot beans, drinking it for the effect. The taste was as best acquired but a cup or two turned on the juice. They thought and talked more, a big change
From mind-dulling booze flagons.
England’s King Charles I feared his ordinary subjects might have and exchange ideas with others. Both he and a distant cousin who was King of Sweden briefly tried to outlaw and close coffee shops.
Tell someone they can’t have their favorite drink, and remember the Boston Tea Party? It led to a pushback, and then rebellion. Early in 1650, those coffee-drinking people lopped off Charles’s head.
Cold War U.S. Sen. Joe McCarthy (R-Wisc.) puffed up fear of communism to a point where even grown-up kids were terrified Russky spies were in every classroom or other place of gathering. Fluoride in our drinking water? It became too much.
Red-baiter McCarthy came to a bitter end, and The Olds then wondered how one man could turn us against each other.
During the 1960s Civil Rights battles, authorities did not want minorities to convene in march and protest. Those were busted up with billy clubs and attack dogs.
The current administration has used similar tactics to intimidate minorities suspected of being here illegally. Plus they mock and laugh at the No Kings marches.
Holding, then preserving power can become addictive. Protect the institution first, which means dividing those you perceive threaten you and it.
There’s no escape from this muddle in the middle. So let’s beat them at their own game. If you feel lost and alone, my father had the right answer: If you want friends, be a friend. Make the first move, extend your right hand, smile, speak. Seize the day!
