I’ve noticed two major concerns of older people that I talk with. One is that as they get older, they feel less worthy and the second is that they feel more and more restless, and not at ease with God. It seems common to believe that as we get older and nearing death that we ought to feel more worthy and less sinful. What sins of the flesh can older people actually commit? What worries do they have?
Why should an older person be anxious and restless, since they are closer to living with God in heaven than at any other time in their lives? Let’s examine this restlessness that many older people feel. One older person said to me that he had everything he wanted, was very successful in every way, yet was very restless. St. Agustine said that restlessness was something we all experience. “Only in God will my soul be at rest.” If St. Agustine was restless, what make us think that we should not be restless? It seems that as we get closer to heaven that we get more restless and not less.
I think we feel more unworthy as we get older because as we get closer to God, we become more aware of our sinfulness. As we get closer to Jesus our sinfulness becomes clearer and observable, especially by ourselves. If I stand before a mirror in a dark room my blemishes and my beauty are not illuminated. Turn on a light and there I am in all my glory. The ultimate light is Jesus. In his presence, nothing is hidden.
Thank God for the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick. I’ve noticed that those who receive this sacrament experience two things among others. The first is that they experience forgiveness of their sins and any punishment due to them. Instead of feeling guilt and shame, they feel joy. The other is the experience of calm and peace. Some say it is because of the grace received in the sacrament. Having received the sacrament myself, I can attest to experiencing joy, peace, and confidence that all is well and all will be well.
I will be totally free of sin and worthy of God, and I will be totally at rest, but not yet. Until then, I am a sinner and until then I will be restless, and I may become more aware of these things as I near Jesus. My sin and restlessness will end only when I am totally united with Jesus.
“May the Lord bless and keep you. May he let his face shine upon you, be gracious to you and give you his peace.”
