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Mike’s Musings-Signs that keep us guessing

My son can attest to one of my biggest pet peaves- road signs that don’t make any sense. We drive a lot of miles together, and occasionally we find useless signs placed along roadways at taxpayers’ expense. I would be angry if they weren’t so comical. Here’s several I would like to share with you.

-We came across probably the most ridiculous sign one can imagine- It simply stated “Beware of Invisible Cows.”

–Another crazy sign asked drivers to “Drive in the Water.” Upon further explanation the sign asked drivers to drive in the water while bikes are to stay on the bridge. I still don’t get it.

-A sign imploring seat belt usage proclaims “ET buckles up.” Okay, so a fictional character says “buckle up” we should obey, I suppose.

-Families Crossing says a sign in Texas. Does this have to do with illegal immigrants? Seems strange.

  • Go Ahead, Drink and Drive. Now this upon further reflection makes sense. I believe it is a warning as to where you might end up if you are drinking and driving.
  • Mosquito Warning says the sign. I’ve seen deer and bear warnings, but mosquitoes. This must be a joke.

-Salem Witch Parking- Salem, Massachusetts, the historic site of the Salem Witch Trials, offers tongue-in-cheek parking for witches only. I wonder how many of those parking spaces are utilized?

-Secret Nuclear Bunker- What is the point of having a secret nuclear bunker, if you’re going to announce it with a sign that offers directions?

-Sign Not in Use- You gotta be kidding me. We need to install a sign that says the sign is useless?

-Another silly roadside sign indicates “Something this Way.” It doesn’t say what. It simply says turn left to make your way to “something.”

-SOTP sign. Well I’m sure this was meant to say STOP, but the sign painters were having a bad day, and the installers were equally remiss in missing the faux paux.

-Squirrels have Right of Way. Hmm, didn’t know squirrels could read, but apparently at this intersection motorists are commanded to stop for the rodents.

-Turn Right to go Left- Talk about confusing. Why not simply turn left to go left? Apparently that’s too easy here.

-Warning warthogs and children have the right of way- Why warthogs? Why not wild hogs, or deer, or monkeys? And why in the world wouldn’t sign simply say “children.”

-Welcome to Accident. Okay this sign is legit. There actually is a town in Maryland named Accident.

-Zombies ahead. This was an electronic road sign that was hacked. Honest, no zombies are walking on the road ahead.

-Warning: Air Force Bombing Range. Why in the world would motorists be allowed to drive through a bombing arrange? Shouldn’t the sign say bombs may fall from aircraft so vehicles must turn around for their own safety.

Back in the day, we use to observe billboards that offered silly and ridiculous messages. It took away the monotony when driving long distances. Maybe our government signmakers are providing the same for us in modern day America. I can only hope this is the case.

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